Moral Support

I feel like there are things that we often overlook.
Growing up, I didn't have too many friends until about Jr High. I made some really great friends throughout those years. As we grew older and went through high school, I made even more friendships.
We grow up and change.
We grow apart, our interests change and we go to college. I still keep in touch with some people I call my friends. I have the regular friends I hang out with on the weekends, and I have the friends I see at LDS Mission Farewells and Homecomings. We catch up, and make more memories. I made some great friends through work, some friendships have potential to last long, or even survive hardships.
Despite it all, I still love my friends because they are my family. They are more like family than my actual family. They have been there for me during some of the roughest times in my life, as well as my successes.
I am truly blessed to have these incredible people in my life.
I love being able to help friends prepare for their religious mission, wedding, birthday, or really anything that involves being part of their life in one way or another. I love them all very much. There's so much I would do for them.
Unfortunately, as we grow up, we learn to depend less on each other. We don't need as much of each other and we find our partners. Eventually get married and the friends seem to be pushed aside. There are other priorities in our lives and we overlook what we once had.
I always invite my friends to parties, concerts and other events and for some reason they fall through. It hurts a lot when it happens but I understand things have more priority in their lives. I think about every wrong thing that my friends have done, but this is all superficial. It doesn't matter in the end as to who came to your 21st birthday party, your son's baptism luncheon or even said yes when you asked them to be your bridesmaid. As long as YOU had a good time, that's all that matters.


It's hard to have fun on your own, but use that time to do something creative like DIY projects, or go on a "me date". Being on your own doesn't have to be a curse, you can meet new people and have fun, maybe make new friends. I often find myself going to concerts alone and enjoying them just as much. There's a negative connotation to doing things alone but keep in mind that sometimes being by yourself is great. Be your own person. Whoever comes or at least reaches out to you is worth keeping in your life. Give as many second chances as you want, just know the consequences of it. BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE.
The most important thing is: be happy because of the person you have become.


-if you are reading this and you think I'm still mad at you for the thing you did, trust me when I say that I'm not. I got over it. It took some time but I'm over it. It might've hurt at the time and I might've thought I would never talk to you again, but trust me. I do still love you. You are my family. Thank you for giving me time to myself.-

• Saxophone •

Every single person in this business has at some point in their life hit a low note. There are always those days when you question the legitimacy of this dream. There is always a point when you doubt your abilities and question everything you stand for. As a sophomore in college, I know that I am just beginning, yet there are times when I have experienced that feeling. I've questioned my career enough times, to where I've been close to dropping out and quitting. There are moments when I'm left to wonder if this is all worth it. I've neglected my practice over the holiday break, and even though I'm fully engulfed in my band class, I guess I'm not as serious about this as I was before. I had one of the most rigorous auditions and although I had a long time to prepare for it, I didn't feel like I had the help I needed until the very last second. Last semester I had my first jury, and I only had a two week notice to prepare for it. I walked into the room after several violinists and I was freaking out. Judging musicians is tough, because it's difficult to tell where they are and where they are supposed to be. I've been playing for five years but sometimes, it feels like it's been a lot shorter.

I wasn't as excited to take private lessons this semester, for the last few weeks I've been questioning my seriousness in this business.  After my lesson was over, I realized why I keep doing this.

It's because I love it.  Over the last couple weeks, I've been going to different shows and watch some of my favorite local saxophonists. These are people I really look up to. I finally got to meet a former employee of the company I work for, and alum to the school I currently attend. He is someone whose footsteps I'm basically following.  It is really astonishing to see how far he has gone in his career. I talked to my Private Lessons Professor about it, and he knows the guy because he was his instructor too.  At some point in time, I hope to be where he is now.

For a while, I had been thinking, "I'm not going anywhere," despite a few friends who keep reminding me that I am just starting out. Yes, this is difficult, but with enough patience and a ton of practice, I can do this too!

For anyone who is struggling:

It will all be okay. Remember why you do what you do and why you want to do it. Re-kindle your passion for it, any way possible. Just don't ever forget it.