More often than not, I find myself worried about things that trouble me & the future. For some reason, I'm terrified for what will come within the next few years. I've known I wanted to play music with my life since my senior year, and I've been set on Music Performance since I started college. Now, with my third year at SLCC approaching I'm excited yet nervous. Working two jobs, studying full time, and still going to all my favorite shows to ease some of the tension.
There's often been times during the school year when I know I'm working myself too much and I feel overwhelmed. I can't think of a day where I'm not worried about what the next day will bring. It's not just me, though. Everyone struggles. Everyone has problems. Everyone deals with things differently. You're not alone.
Taking private lessons has been the most difficult thing I've ever done. Each time I start with a different teacher, it's almost as if I have no idea how to even play my instrument. At this point, I've had three teachers in two years. These past two years have felt like they've dragged on forever. All of my instructors have been amazing, despite how much I don't like them at the moment. They're all extremely skilled on their instruments and have a different approach at teaching. This summer was the first summer I've taken lessons and I have seen HUGE improvement [probably because I've had a little more time to practice between lessons in comparison to during the school year]. Something I have learned so far is that there's always room for growth and improvement.
After falling into the habit of lessons and knowing how to play my instrument, all the worries go away but there's another thing that I struggle with. Staying motivated. For the last year, I've felt as if I was working towards nothing in particular. I practice classical pieces mixed with some fun Disney songs but I would ask myself "why?" I don't know why I do it. There were days I wouldn't want to go to my lesson, because I neglected to practice and I knew I wasn't growing. By not practicing, the only person I am hurting is myself. From my experience with music teaching, I remember how frustrated I would get when my beginning band and orchestra students wouldn't practice and the feeling irked me, knowing that I was also letting my instructors down.
Find your motivation. Find your passion. Be inspired.
Working at a music store allows me to experience seeing other students' growth as well as teachers' frustration. There's this little girl who has been working on Starships by Nicki Minaj* EVERY week for what seems like forever. Once she had the song solid, the teacher added choreography. Nothing too crazy, just side to side steps and walking across the stage. Seeing her perform at the recital was definitely worth listening to her play it for so long. It's those little things that keep me motivated. I see a lot of young students go through the store, from drummers, pianists, cellists and violinists. It's crazy to think that some of these kids may grow up to become the next Lindsey Sterling, Steven Sharp Nelson or Jon Schmidt.
I'm walking the steps of some incredible people. There are a number of local shows I try to catch, mostly because I think it's so cool that I am following the footsteps of people I know. There's an alum from SLCC who took lessons from two of my teachers, took some of the same classes, and participated in some of the same activities as I do now. He also worked for the music store I currently work for and knows some of my former co-workers. He is working full-time as a musician, and I can't help but think about how amazing it is that I'm experiencing some of the same things he did a few years prior. To see where he is now, is astounding and gives me hope. It lets me know that hard work and perseverance can get you to where you want to be.
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| (The Strike, SoDa Row, May 2017) (Myles, Marcus, Matt, Chris, Chase, Brady) |
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| Brady Bills, shredding on his Jackson guitar! |
Most of all, I've been inspired by seeing some of my favorite bands play. I love seeing The Strike perform. I feel like I've learned the most from them. Their stage presence is incredible. No matter how many times I see them, its always different. I love the feelings associated with how much they enjoy what they do. They bring so much joy to the audience and the crowd loves them no matter what they do.
I love seeing Brady's giant grin when he's shredding some bars on guitar, the way Matt smiles when the crowd chants his name, how Myles sings into his saxophone microphone, the way that Marcus sometimes raps, how cool Chase is with his groovy bass lines and I especially enjoy the pure happiness from Chris's face as he sings, the crowd knows every word and for a moment everything just seems infinite.
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| The Strike, SoDa Row (photo cred: me) |
My advice:
Find something that inspires you, something that keeps you motivated even when times get hard. As I dread going to my lesson, I usually tell myself, "if you want to take Myles' place in the Strike, then you gotta work hard for it."
Count your blessings with the little things that bring you joy, whatever that may be, remember those in times of doubt. (:
Just because your problems seem monumental, don't doubt the things other people are going through, because your mountains are all different but they're still mountains.
*Link to Spotify, Pentatonix version of the song.
