• Saxophone •

Every single person in this business has at some point in their life hit a low note. There are always those days when you question the legitimacy of this dream. There is always a point when you doubt your abilities and question everything you stand for. As a sophomore in college, I know that I am just beginning, yet there are times when I have experienced that feeling. I've questioned my career enough times, to where I've been close to dropping out and quitting. There are moments when I'm left to wonder if this is all worth it. I've neglected my practice over the holiday break, and even though I'm fully engulfed in my band class, I guess I'm not as serious about this as I was before. I had one of the most rigorous auditions and although I had a long time to prepare for it, I didn't feel like I had the help I needed until the very last second. Last semester I had my first jury, and I only had a two week notice to prepare for it. I walked into the room after several violinists and I was freaking out. Judging musicians is tough, because it's difficult to tell where they are and where they are supposed to be. I've been playing for five years but sometimes, it feels like it's been a lot shorter.

I wasn't as excited to take private lessons this semester, for the last few weeks I've been questioning my seriousness in this business.  After my lesson was over, I realized why I keep doing this.

It's because I love it.  Over the last couple weeks, I've been going to different shows and watch some of my favorite local saxophonists. These are people I really look up to. I finally got to meet a former employee of the company I work for, and alum to the school I currently attend. He is someone whose footsteps I'm basically following.  It is really astonishing to see how far he has gone in his career. I talked to my Private Lessons Professor about it, and he knows the guy because he was his instructor too.  At some point in time, I hope to be where he is now.

For a while, I had been thinking, "I'm not going anywhere," despite a few friends who keep reminding me that I am just starting out. Yes, this is difficult, but with enough patience and a ton of practice, I can do this too!

For anyone who is struggling:

It will all be okay. Remember why you do what you do and why you want to do it. Re-kindle your passion for it, any way possible. Just don't ever forget it. 

The 16%

"A dream is a wish your heart makes" - Cinderella

I have many dreams and aspirations, we all do. There are things we want to do with our lives but for some reason or another we just can't seem to make it there (yet). Everything is possible, if we have the right determination we could become anything! 

To me, that thought is just incredible. 

When I declared my major, I knew that it was going to be a bumpy ride. Music Performance does not necessarily grant stability, but after going to enough shows and feeling the energy, I knew that being on stage was exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I want to give other people the same feeling I get from performers I look up to.  I took a journey into finding out about programs and colleges to go to post SLCC, and I came across one in particular. This one stood out to me because I had some familiarity to it and I was just excited to finally have a semi-long term goal. 

The Process
Before anything could be achieved, I had to work on myself and my musicianship. The program I am looking into requires an audition that essentially showcases my jazz and classical skills on saxophone and clarinet. Needless to say, I absolutely knew I needed to continue to work on my jazz. 

This included: taking private lessons on sax and just performing as much as possible. 

The band program is consists of an audition and yearly 350+ people audition, there's 21 spots in the band and only 4 of them are saxophones. About 16% of people who audition get in and to make the odds smaller, 4% of those are saxophonists.

I want to be part of that 16%

Hard work and determination!
My Experience
I was supposed to submit a 15 minute audition showing proficiency in both of my instruments. It took over 5 hours of filming and editing, and three different locations to film. I was very lucky to have my bestie, Sierra, who by the way is a talented pianist, be my accompanist in several of the takes.  I wasn't completely satisfied with how the recordings turned out, but time was not in my favor. I got incredibly stressed and depressed. I didn't think my abilities were good enough. I didn't really have any support besides that of my mom. My private lessons teachers didn't seem to see potential in me. I wanted to get up and leave on a meaningful experience, and three months at this band program would've been perfect!
Several weeks after I had submitted my audition  tape, I heard back from the casting director. I didn't have what they were looking for, but I was encouraged to keep working and try again the following year. I was also welcomed to go to the call-backs, but it was my decision and I might not even get a chance to be seen, because it's a first come-first served basis. Knowing that I wasn't good enough crushed me. I knew I wasn't going to make it, but I had a sliver of hope. I wanted to have this life-changing, meaningful experience right before my friends came home from serving their religious missions.
Post-Audition
Although I didn't make it, I didn't let that stop me. I continue to work for this experience. I want to be part of this band more than anything in this world. The last time I felt this strongly about something was when I was a Freshman going into Granite Jr Youth Symphony. I desperately wanted into it. I practiced really hard and finally made it in.
Hard work and perseverance.
Although, I will not have this experience before my friends come back, I will continue to audition until I graduate from SLCC. As a musician, networking and workshops are key to make this work. You gotta be the best you can.

 I still want to be part of that 16%