SO MUCH TO SAY. NOT ENOUGH TIME. NOT THE RIGHT WORDS

When people have near death experiences, they claim to have seen their life flash before their eyes. I can honestly say that out of the many times I could've, almost, possibly have died not ONCE have I ever seen my life flash before my eyes.
Earlier this summer I had the lovely pleasure to hang upside down a cliff of a mountain in the town of Antimony. I was completely safe and terrified. I knew that the people who ran the resort-place had me and that nothing was going to happen. I knew that I was not going to fall 70 feet to my death because I knew I was secure and they had me. Oddly enough I often wonder to myself: what would've happened if they had not secured the ropes or if they weren't there…

 

 It seems that we take so many things for granted even though we shouldn't. There are many experiences in which we partake that could possibly be our last. How do we cope with the post-trauma that comes from a near death experience like hanging upside-down on a cliff 4 hours from home?





The answer is easy; YOLO

Live your every waking moment as if it was your last. Take risks and chances, especially when it comes to telling your friends how much you appreciate them or the people you look up to how much they mean to you. Be kind to others, because one day it's going to haunt you. Being rescued from the potential fall to my doom made me realize how fragile life is. I thought that reppeling down a rock would be fun and easy… it really wasn't. As the adult I am, I chose not to immediately run and call my mom. I do remember she told me to not do anything stupid… lately all I do is make stupid decisions. I don't regret my decisions because when they occurred, it was exactly what I wanted.

The feelings of depression, sadness and loneliness stopped after my ex and I broke up. For a while it was all great again but as summer began to end, I began to feel sad and lonely again. This time it was a different type of depression. I thought that maybe nobody cared about me or nobody wanted to hang out with me, but that's not the case. Everyone is just so busy with their lives and I'm not.

I ask myself "What would've happened if I had not come back from that trip?" and I know the answer. My best friends would be really upset and hate me for not being safe but still miss me. My other friends would be sad. Some people would be trying to cope with the feeligns, and some may not even know. I've come to realize that it's okay if nobody cares about my death except my family and close friends. They are the only one that matter.

We spend so much time trying to figure out what to say that we miss out on so many opporunities. I know that there are things I want to say to different people but I get so caught up on the moment that I forget to tell them and realize it's too late when I got home. So many people have influenced my life in different ways and I want them to know that they mean the world to me!

Advice:
Take time to let people know what they mean to you. Let your friends know that they are beautiful inside and out. Tell your role models that you look up to them and love them. Tell your professors that their lesson rocked! Just make sure you don’t spend too much time thinking about it. Just go with it.

MAKING DECISIONS

In Jr High, I had a very strict dress code. It was almost like a uniform. Having to pick what to wear every day was not a huge issue. When I moved up to the high school I got to wear whatever I wanted to, which included tee shirts and ripped jeans! The excitement that I lived through was unbelievable, but making decisions is a major part of our lives.

Earlier this month I was watching a different interpretation of the Biblical story of Joseph and his dreams. This particular version made me realize something I hadn't seen when I was part of my high school production of "Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." Heavenly Father has a plan for us. Everyone has a purpose in life and something they are meant to do. None of us know what it is or how we will achieve it. 

As my high school days concluded, I am forced to move on and start a new life. This time I will be attending a different school with all new people. It's incredible to think how much has changed  since I was a little seventh grader. Currently I am enrolled at the Community College, and everything seemed to be going my way.  Making the decision to attend the Community College was very difficult for me because ever since I can remember, I always wanted to attend the big University in the state. Slowly through my high school years I decided that I was  going to study music education. I have loved music since I was little. The first instrument I played was a small xylophone when I was in kindergarten. I used to be in my middle school's choir, but then I switched to the band. Finding myself through music was my main priority. I had chosen my major (Music) and taking as many instrumental music classes as I could. Deep down inside something isn't quite complete. It was as if there was a hole waiting to be complete. I had mentioned to my mom that I really missed being in choir and singing.

I've had the opportunity to experience different faith communities and learn about how their beliefs are similar to mine. I strongly feel like this has been one of the most nourishing experiences of my life because its allowed me to grow in my own faith and beliefs. Unfortunately I still feel like I need to find myself. Living in the beautiful state of Utah, with many of my friends deciding to go on their Missions and graduating from Seminary, I talked with several of my friends about the possibility of taking Religious classes in college. At first I was really shy about it and didn't want to draw too much attention to it, but as the enrolling period is nearing to an end I've decided I wanted to take an LDS Institute class to see what it was like and to help my growth. After hearing many testimonies of my friends and classmates, I decided I was going to sign up for Institute.

Today I was looking at the registration page for the Institute near me and I found the Biblical class I wanted. As I kept scrolling down the page there was a non-auditioned choir! It seemed to me that I was getting closer to going back to singing. In my church, one of the things I most enjoy is singing and praising. After looking at the two classes I wanted to take, I had to find the one that was best fitting to my schedule and would allow for work and growth. Unfortunately for me, I have to find a different Biblical class but the Choir class is within the times I can fit into my schedule!

I got really excited to know that I have the opportunity to sing in praise, but I still havent told my mom or really anyone besides two of my closest friends. I know that since I am not LDS there will be some struggles I will face but at the moment I am looking forward to the opportunities that I can have. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us and He knows what He wants me to do with my life. I am really excited to see where He takes me on these next two years.

Sometimes I think back at my middle school years and I miss the decisions I had to make. Stalking the guy you like for the sake of being noticed was not the best idea I ever had. In fact, most of the decisions I made in middle school weren't very smart but I do not regret them. Every choice I've made and all the forks in the road I've had to face are part of Heavenly Father's plan for me. I do not wish to go back and change all the mistakes I made. Great memories have occurred from my choices and actions. I hope that in the future, I am able to continue living like this. I love my life and I love the experiences I've gotten to have because of the choices I've made.